Stay Still or Move On?

I've been swallowed up in the library transformation project and I've abandoned my blog-but not for long!  It's also May, which as any school educator knows is the most hectic month of the year.   In the middle of the chaos I have had some interesting conversations with people that have caused me to consider the impact I have on my profession and students. I truly have the best job in the education business.  I have the opportunity to share great books with students and encourage teachers to use these books in their curriculum. I am able to attend some pretty amazing conferences (the Texas Library Association one is my hands down favorite) and meet some of the best writers in the publishing world.  Then I get to  share those experiences with my students sometimes in the form of author visits. I have the opportunity to design and implement library programs that encourage students to read new authors or genres and to perform a musical or written talent in a safe environment.  I have the opportunity to explore new technologies and instruct students, but mainly teachers, on how these technologies can enhance and expand student learning.  I have the opportunity to create some fabulous learning environments as I collaborate and teach with some of the best teachers I've known. I have the opportunity to instruct my students and colleagues on updated research techniques that are so crucial in today's world of excessive information.  Once I really sit down and think of the opportunities and the responsibilities that are a part of my job, I am simultaneously energized and exhausted.

In the district in which I work a new position has been created that involves many of the same opportunities, but based off a campus setting. The focus is on technology and librarians and assisting/instructing librarians on how they could utilize new tools or techniques on their own campuses.  What an amazing opportunity! The impact in this large district, which currently has 115 schools but is still growing, could potentially be huge.  I have loads of ideas already on how I could see this new position impacting the lives of our students and teachers.

I have several friends that have either retired recently or moved on to new positions.  I'm always curious as to how they came to the decision and the most common answer I receive is, "I just knew it was time". I've done a fair amount of reflecting on this new position and if I should take a chance and apply for it.  Each time I think I'm ready to do it I come back to several things.  Most importantly, a promise I made to my youngest daughter that I would not leave the school where I work until she has the chance to attend.  I've always wanted to work in whatever middle school my children attended and that worked out very well with the first one.  Another big factor is the students.  The 11, 12, 13 and 14 year-olds I have the opportunity to work with everyday provide an energy for me that I find sustaining.  When I think about the frustrations I experience in my job, it's almost 100% of the time with adults!  I seek solace with my students.  They bring me back to focus and underscore why I chose the profession I did.  I chose it to help them, to feed off their excitement, and provide them with opportunities they might not expect in a library.  Some people say middle school educators are a special breed and I agree, but I also know that this is one of the few places I can let my inner child out every day.  They keep this forty-something gal young and that is one thing I definitely consider a perk! Finally, the staff I work with is truly outstanding.  They have generously allowed me into their classrooms to co-teach and fearlessly tried out my crazy ideas. I have learned so much from them and they, like their students, energize me to think of new ways to impact our students.

I am glad this opportunity presented itself to me.  It has allowed me to pause and reflect during one of the most hectic times of the year.  It has caused me to determine that I am just not ready to move away from my students, my teachers, and my campus.  I worry about missing an opportunity and I hope it won't be the last one.  I'm definitely torn between having the chance to have a bigger impact and forge new directions or staying put and building on what I have established at my current campus.  When it comes down to it, I can't imagine not being so close to eager, energetic, enthusiastic students every day.  I can't imagine being away from a crucial energy supply in my life.  Like my friends have told me, I just think I'll know when the time is right for me to move on.  Right now it looks like that time might be a long way from now.